So I'm watching television last night and hubby has on Ninja Warrior. It's a Japanese game show where contestants compete to earn the Ninja title by defeating insane obstacle courses of rolling logs, sheer walls, and rain-slick towers. The first bit is like the early round of American Idol, a total try-out for a wheelchair for most contestants.
I was surprised that the Japanese transvestite wasn't a gimmick. She almost made it. Though I could have told her she'd lose time having to stop and adjust that black leather thong before she got on the rolling log - dress for comfort when doing an obstacle course, hon.
The announcer just cracked me up. Now, he's talking in Japanese and the subtitles, oh my God - how exact is the translation? I understand he has to describe someone going through the same obstacle course over and over, so he must use different descriptions each time. I just couldn't stop listening to his figurative language, so I made a list of the ones I thought most original:
He is swinging like a meaty pendulum!
They're like the ramparts of hell!
He's crawling through the tunnel like a feral baby!
He's going through the tunnel like a superhuman baby!
It's like a merry-go-round of pain and anguish!
They all have exclamation points because that's how he talked the whole time. He must have been exhausted by the end, but he certainly kept my attention. The power of figurative language!