Writing Goals, Writers Digest Subscription Contest, and J.D. Salinger Imitation

Win a subscription to Writers Digest over at Maria Schneider's blog at the magazine. Remember, Ed says you can't win if you don't enter.

Start by leaving a comment on her blog with your writing goals for 2008. She'll pick her favorite posts and award ten of them a year of Writers Digest.

So what are your writing goals for this year? Mine are modest, of course.

1. Win a Nobel Prize for Literature (for my unpublished works that the Nobel Committee hears about and requests to see)

2. Top the New York Times Bestseller List for the last six months of the year (need to get the book rushed to publication for its brillance in the first six)

3. Chat with Oprah about how much she loves my book

4. Build my custom-designed writing retreat in Colorado overlooking the mountains.

5. Get a law passed that flays alive anyone who thinks it's okay not to pay writers, claiming they should work for free to get "quality clips." Later amend law to pouring lemon juice on them after flaying.

6. Hire someone to talk to all the people introvert me does not deign to speak to now that I have much moolah from #2. I vant to be alone to create art my dahlings.

7. Pull a J.D. Salinger at the end of the year and refuse all interviews. I need no stinkin' publicity.

8. Allow myself to be coaxed out of Salingerhood to do another interview with Oprah.

And you?