Researchers Say Zombies Would be Tough Opponents

Some of you have read my WIP and know I have a thing for zombie lore, so this story made me grin. Some Canadian researchers have studied how a zombie infestations should be fought. Get out your bats and shotguns ladies and gentlemen, or we are all doomed.

I recommend you prepare here.

Top 7 Awesome Things About Being A Writer In a Bad Economy

Ramen, My Ramen by Tricia Grissom

7.  We already consider ramen noodles a food group.

6. We understand life is unfair. After all, Joe the Plumber has a book deal.

5. Words are free and can earn us money.

4. Auto company bailouts, bank failures, Barak Obama's funny eyebrows - it's all just writing material.

3. My memoir on being broke and evicted that nets me a spot on the New York Times bestseller list.

2. What do you mean everything's hopelessly difficult in the publishing industry economy, and we'll never get published another job? You've shocked our delicate sensibilities.
 
1. We've already been laid off, rejected, and underpaid. Bring it on.

Bulwer-Lytton Bad Prose Award

Statue of Liberty by Lori Greig Creative Commons

The 2008 winner of Bulwer-Lytton Bad Fiction Contest is Garrison Spik. Each year contestants attempt to write the worse opening line for an imaginary novel. Spik's winning entry is an homage to a New York love affair.

I must say, writing badly on purpose is better than recieving something like the Bad Sex in Fiction Award wherein published authors have their hot prose judged frigid. The 2007 award goes to Norman Mailer for his imagined conception of Adolph Hitler. No, I'm not making that up.

So go forth and sin no more people. Well, Mailer is dead, so I guess no worries there.

Book Promo Snark

Happy Friday, all.

Here's a great little mockumentary about authors and book promotion by Dennis Cass and an interview Bella Stander did with the author about his super successful video.

MMMMMM Marketing

Yes! M&Ms found a way to personalize the candy with logos and pictures. They've got all the sport team logos too.

Great promo opportunity. Can you squeeze your book cover on one of these? Looks like. Bookmarks are fine and dandy, but everyone likes candy. Tell me I did not just rhyme there. I'm going with it.



Only don't expect them to tap dance for you. Read this last sound bite from Entertainment Weekly and you'll understand. Happy Friday.

Must. Have. This. Shirt. and Interview with Harry Dresden

So I'm a primo nerd. Sue me. I totally love Jim Butcher's Dresden Files books and his detective hero Harry Dresden was just interviewed by the demon Jezebel on Cat and Muse. And one of the interviewers was wearing this t-shirt. I must have it. Read the books.

Joss Whedon Runs Amuck and Falling in Lurve With Your Publisher

Teaser from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog on Vimeo.

Amuck, amuck, amuck. Sorry. Just like that word.

Apparently Joss and some of his friends had some time on their hands on during the writers' strike and decided to entertain themselves and "stick it to the man" by proving they can circumvent the writer slave trade.

And all of us get to benefit. As an eternal Buffy, Angel, and Serenity fan, I share the news.

Thanks to Arthur A. Levine editor Cheryl Klein for the heads up on her blog. She's another Missouri girl and Harry Potter fan, so how could I not love her? Plus I heard her give a great talk at the Missouri Writers' Guild Conference a couple years ago about how finding a publisher is a lot like falling in lurve.

Watch this trailer for Joss's upcoming internet miniseries and stay tuned for this supervillian musical on the following dates:

Act One: Tuesday, July 15th

Act Two: Thursday, July 17th

Act Three: Saturday, July 19th

You can only view all acts until midnight on July 20th. After that you pays.

Watch Out Kindle - It's the MiBook

Nathan Bransford had a great round-up of publishing news today, including info on a much less expensive ebook reader than Kindle. It's called the MiBook. and retails for about $130 - and it plays music too!

Getting books on there can be a little pricey at $20 a pop. It does have a memory card slot.

It's cute though. But there are other options out there too.

Death Becomes Vampire Jane Austen

Jane Austen Action Figure by The Eggplant Creative Commons

I am so jealous I didn't think of this. Publisher's Weekly reports genius author Michael Thomas Ford sold a vampire book with Jane Austen as the lead bloodsucker.

Perhaps Mr. Darcy lives on as well? We can only hope. I guess she's finally getting some action. No groans please - my inner critic takes care of those.

More Fun Gifts for Writers

Jane Austen Action Figure by The Eggplant Creative Commons


Check out the Mixed-Up Romance Novel Magnetic Poetry Kit. No. I have no life.

Or let an author be your umbrella on a rainy, rainy day. Although Jane looks like she's had her nose pressed to the glass just a little too long. Or have a cuppa with some famous poets. Or perhaps you prefer the Jane Austen action figure? Mine is kicking butt and taking names as we speak.

Haven't you started your Christmas shopping yet? *Ducks to avoid flying projectiles*

T-shirts for Writers

Love to agent Janet Reid for posting these cringtastic links to conference t-shirts for writers. Shirt designer Angela L. Fox also has designs for your inner muse and the evil inner critic.

I must have this one. I will be sure to wrap all my manuscripts in aluminium foil so the aliens can't probe them.

Submissions Wanted: Six Word Memoirs on Love and Heartbreak and Being a Mom

Mine with visual aid: Never leave children, alone at zoo.


Smith, the people who brought you the six-word memoir are looking for submissions for two new books - Six-Word Memoirs on Love and Heartbreak and Six-Word Momoirs about being a mother.

So even if you haven't had a lot of writing time recently, you know you can come up with six words.

You can see some examples on their website.

Friday Fun: Evil Twins, Dark Attics, and Poison, Oh My

Creative Commons Ghost in the Attic by rankingranqueen


Prepare to eject coffee (or tea) out of your nose. Author Rachel M Brown has a mouth-falls-open-she's-making-this-up plot summary of a turny twisty book called Trelawny.

Ah, see, that's what my book needs. An evil twin.

Friday Fun: Harry Potter Writing Contest

Amazon is sponsoring a Harry Potter writing contest that will transport a lucky fan aged 13 or older to England to get up close and personal with "The Tales of Beedle Bard," the limited edition Rowling book they bought at auction for a hefty sum.

Contestants must answer one of the following questions:

What songs do wizards use to celebrate birthdays?
What other sports do wizards play besides Quidditch?
What have you learned from the Harry Potter series that you use in everyday life?

There are two age categories:

13-17

18 and up

The contest runs from April 9-22, 2008. Semi-finalists will be chosen and then Amazon.com customers will vote on finalists and the Grand Prize Winner. The winner will get a trip to England for them and guest to read the coveted book for a weekend.

I am composing my wizarding birthday song now. . .

15 Reasons Women Love Sci Fi

Photo lethal talons Creative Commons

1. ‘Cause we’re totally equal, but with shiny, low-cut jumpsuits.

2. We can program the transporter to leave ten pounds behind every time we dematerialize.

3. We kick butt, but with kick ass boots.

4. Guys have to call us sir. *whip crack*

5. They have whole planets ruled by us. And we’re really tall.

6. Tribbles are sooooo cute.

7. We can take a pill and become irresistible.

8. The guys all get their shirts ripped off fighting aliens.

9. I could have a hologram of David Boreanaz. If I wanted.

10. The supermarket slidy doors are everywhere. I don’t have to remember where I put my keys.

11. We never wear the red shirt.

12. All of us have mutant big boobs.

13. We can order a chocolate lava cake from a hole in the wall at 3 a.m.

14. Cleaning toilets is a snap with Robbie the Robot. But we’re equal.

We don't clean.

15. Robbie’s talents are myriad. Get your mind out of the gutter.

Long Live Sci Fi.

Sock Wars

I bow to human creativity. The other Tricia from Coffee and Critique just sent me this link about "Sock Wars." I have no words.

If other people can be this creative, so can you my fellow writers! Look upon this and birth a crazy contest idea of your own. Then you could dramatize it in a short story. . .

Geez. This is the kind of stuff I use to procrastinate with instead of grading papers. *Backing away slowly*

Friday Fun - The Men of Jane Austen Personal Ads

Saw this great link to personal ads for Jane Austen's Men on Editor Cheryl Klein's blog.

My advice - run from Mr. Collins - straight to Mr. Darcy, of course.

The Library Hotel - The Dewey Decimal Way to Stay

I want to stay at the Library Hotel! I Stumbled upon it through a crazylicious sight called Unusual Hotels of the World. There you can find treehouses, ice igloos and even a Beagle to sleep in.

But my biblophile's desire is The Library Hotel is in New York. It has ten floors of the Dewey Decimal System: You can stay on the Science and Math floor, the History and Technology floor, or my favorite, the Literature floor. Each room is a sub topic of the floor theme and is chock full of books based on it.

So the Lit floor has rooms centered around the classics, poetry, fairy tales and even erotic literature for Valentine's Day.
Guests can use the Writer's Den and sit by a crackling fire while they read, or check out the Poetry Garden, a greenhouse that accesses outdoor seating for fair weather frolics.

It's like a big piece of cheesecake on Mount Everest - I'll never get there, but it sure looks good. I'll have to live vicariously off the virtual tour.

You can check out The Library Hotel's website for more info. I'm not being paid to endorse it. It just looks seriously cool.

Valentine Candy for the Bitter and Dysfunctional - Like Me!

Georganna Hancock over at Writer's Edge has a great post on Bittersweets. (You have to scroll down the page a bit to see the post)

It's candy for the Valentine disaffected among us. They have three collections of conversation hearts: Dejected, Dysfunctional, and Dumped. They say things like:
I CRY ON Q
DIGNITY FREE
U LEFT
NO FIX 4 DUMB
CALL A 900#
TABLE FOR 1

I have a few of my own I wish they would add:
U SUCK
TALK 2 THE HAND
KISS THIS
PITY PARTY
I M FREE
TOO LATE
BUH BYE!

Feel free to add your own special thoughts on Valentine's Day.

Cheesecake with a Slice of Crime

Nothing against Barnes and Noble (I love their chai tea) but don't you wish we could have critique meetings once in awhile at this place?

I found it on agent Janet Reid's site. She also has a great link on the previous day's blog to a really bad query letter.